"When are you going to update your blog, Dyko?"

"Whenever I want to...GOSH!"

So that time has come, once again, for me to dust off the old internet and toss another one of these bastards up here.

A lot has happened since I last wrote anything, but for the uninitiated, it has already been established numerous times that I don’t actually read my own blog, so I couldn’t tell you what my last update was even about. Probably coyotes or something.

As I was writing, lots has happened in the past (insert time period); I’ve had some laughs, shed some tears, spilt some blood, learned, lived, loved, and ruined some perfectly good pants along the way.

I went to a concert last week (assuming you are reading this update right now, because otherwise, I cannot be liable for any misconceptions about when I actually went to the concert). It was a bit of an obscure rock/metal/whatever-the-hell-all-those-music-snob-people-who-
know-35-sub-genres-to-describe-a-dog-chewing-on-a-harmonica combo called the Nine Inch Nails. You can quote me on this, folks: those kids are going places.

See, this is how Dyko rolls, for those of you keeping score at home:

• FACT: Dyko is currently unemployed
• FICTION: Dyko, now lacking an “income” keeps an eye on his spending habits
• FACT: Summer is just around the corner, meaning a bunch of new CDs are coming out, and thus, bands are having concerts!
• FACT: Dyko enjoys buying tickets for and going to said concerts.
  

See, clearly the Fates are conspiring against me, because good concerts keep coming up, and I am forced to purchase tickets for them. It’s an amazingly entertainingly vicious cycle. So far, we’ve got The Killers at the end of the month, and then in August, there’s some band named “Green Day” or something like that.

I think they’re new.

Anyways, in summation, I am about to be all high-brow by quoting not only a book, but a book that was written like 400+ years ago. That’s right, the bible. Wait, no…there’s no bible quoting that goes on in these here parts. I am, of course, talking about the best book ever written, Cervantes’ Don Quixote.

I’m not gonna lie, kids…this quote is directed right at a certain someone who knows who they are. We were talking about how strange it is for me to spend the way that I do, and it was seriously summed up in the book like such:

The possessor of wealth is not made happy by possessing it, but by spending it, and not by spending as he pleases, but by knowing how to spend it well.

I told you the quote was going to be amazing. Actually, I just thought that, and assumed that you people could hear me.

Enough of this sillyness, people; there are updates to be had!

Alright, I will level with the 3 of you (I’m being realistic)…I didn’t actually have a plan on what I would update this thing with. Well, I did plan on an update titled “Personal Injuries are Funny”, but once I started writing, I kind of went off on a tangent, so that update will have to wait.

I have the address for this thing in my MSN name, so with any luck, my goal of having 4+ readers will soon be achieved, allowing me to buy that shed in the Ozarks I’ve had my eyes on. I don’t even know what the Ozarks are…I’m picturing a swamp or something for whatever reason but, again, I am basing that on a combination of nothingness and not wanting to look into it. Whatever they are, I’m sure the sheds there are pure mint.

Well folks, I think the creativity is just about sapped here for now (I guess I could get a job writing for The Simpsons now LOLOLL!!! Sorry.). Anyways, I’m not sure how good this update was, so some feedback is appreciated. Damn it, now I am one of those people who asks for feedback on their blogs, and refers to their blogs as blogs. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Damn you, Fred Durst. Damn you to hell.

I will be updating again soon, so check back…ummm…soon. I believe an update centered around incidents where I hurt myself would be a rip-roaring, whore of a good time, so I might go ahead with that. Maybe not, though. It all depends on how the fancy strikes me.

Until next time, I leave you with this.