Porno!

I'm not writing about porn. Seriously, people, get with the fricken' program.



So today was my second day at the documentary channel! Once
again, someone ended up giving me some cake, which leads me to the only
reasonable conclusion...100% of the (2) times I've gone there, I've had
cake, therefore, there will always be cake given to me every time I
come in. It's math. Sad thing is, I don't particularly care
for fancy, sweet foods. Nope, plain white bread and a glass of
warm water for me, thank-you-very-much!



Next week I am coming in to help the people at SCREAM hold auditions
for a new host, which should be interesting. The last host was
GREAT, so it'll be tough to replace her. Gonna have to wait and
see.



Sweet zombie Jesus, that was a boring beginning of a post. I fell
asleep like 8 times typing that, and 3 more times describing how boring
it was just now.



Enough of that...time for the goods!



Something happened to me on the way home today that led me to a
conclusion. This has happened to me enough times that I
have decided it is just a general fact of life now...Has anyone ever
sat down next to you on the bus, and they just really smelled like
corn? I'm not talking popcorn, or fresh corn, but like kernaled,
canned corn. I can name at least 3 occasions when this has
happened to me, and I highly doubt that I am the only one with a story
like this. If anything, my ability to identify odours might just
be a bit more detailed, and allows for me to pinpoint the foodstuff
that things smell like. Who knows? What matters is that
these people are out there, and I don't know if it's B.O. or breath, or
what, but they need to be stopped.



Another thing on the bus ride today: I saw a man peeing on a tree
in the park. He didn't look homless or anything, and also didn't
seem to be trying to hide his actions. I think he just decided "I
gotta piss", and then let loose. Whatever floats your boat.



Also on this same bus, I saw this guy who I can only describe as
looking slippery. I can't put my finger on what it was, but he
looked like he was definately up to something. I stared at him
and progressively turned my diskman up louder and louder until he moved
to the back of the bus, I'd assume to commit something-or-other.
That was my good deed for the day.



A couple of days ago, I came to a different conclusion than my smelly
corn people or beer/depression ones. My cat, Tango, was acting
wierd, trying to trick me into petting her by rolling around, making
meow noises. Then she looked up at my window, and started
whining, wanting me to lift her up. Or so I thought. While
talking to her, and listening to her respond pathetically, I thought to
myself "You know, for as long as we've owned her, she's always been all
whiney. I've also never seen her eat a carrot." That is
when it dawned on me: the reason my cat is whiney is because she
wants a carrot. I'm not going to ever give her one, because
frankly, if I'm going to live my life crippled by an umbrella of
depression, the last thing I need is a happy cat bouncing around
happily with a bloody carrot.



As a sidenote, I'm not actually depressed, but that really helped end that last thought off on a high note.



As another sidenote, maybe I *am* depressed, so much so, that I lie
about it, so as to not be felt sorry for by the 2 people that read this
Blog.



I was thinking of continuing writing like this, with a couple more
sidenotes to sidenotes, and all that, but frankly, one sidenote was
already too much.



I'm going drinking tommorow, and planning on getting royally sauced, so
that should kill a few braincells/shave a few of the old years off the
life, if you know what I'm saying. Once again, I'm going with my
standard checklist of objectives to achieve while out drinking:

1. Make sure Candice, Jaclyn, and Hayley are fine


2. Don't get killed by a bus
   
   

I really feel that those are some solid priorities, and that abiding by
them will definately make the evening just that much more fun. As
an aside (I used up all my sidenotes), congradulations to Hayley for
making my protection list! I'm not even really sure what she did
to get there, but it's a good place to be. At entry level, she is
elligable for me taking a golfball drive to the chest to defend her,
and the benefits only get better from there (Candice is at Dyko
wrestling a bear level, and rising FAST!).



This entry is a lot longer than I would have hoped.



With that, I think I've just about run dry...ummm...



Got nothing else.



Dyko